And I think some of the people at theoffice where I work were wondering about me.Tyra applied foundation and went to work with cosmetics. I had to se... myface being changed from passably masculine to undeniably feminine. Iwrung my hands and tried not to let my emotions show. She doesn't makeme grow my hair long but there's enough for her to back-brush with gel init and achieve a girly effect. With my soft features and the beginningof a double chin I resembled a chubby young lady. The. Back lit, I couldn't see her face, but there was no mistaking Cindy. I was stunned, frozen. She spread her arms out and braced her hands against each side of the hall. "Do you remember that summer when I was buying those porn DVD's?" she said. I nodded. Cindy let the silence hang a moment before continuing as if she had asked a question of her fourth grade students. "I bought them all from Betty here," she said giving her head a little sideways nod toward the counter out of my line of sight.. He made me so afraid of my desire to be female that iburied it until I was approaching puberty. Then the sense of wrongness,the horrible feeling that somehow, I was going in the wrong directionbecame overwhelming. But I kept it hidden as best as I could.Then I became a Christian. This made my conflict even stronger, as I wasinducted into a conservative branch of the faith, and felt sure that myneed for the feminine was a sin. This lead to a cycle of "binging" -getting girl clothes and trying to. "Mmmm..." I moaned, "not really that in particular..." Yes, we talked." Jen admitted, "I didn't go into detailed planning or anything, I just wanted to make sure she wasn't going to be upset or jealous or anything like that. I think that's why she gave you a big kiss on her way out the door this morning, just a little 'forget-me-not'." Jen giggled, "I thought it was really funny watching you squirm afterwards, though!" Yeah, thanks for that." I said sarcastically. "So... where does that leave.
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